I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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