white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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