I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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