I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize