so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
