You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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