Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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