My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
