Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
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i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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