I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
