Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
