i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
