Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
