ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
