were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
