yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
