ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you never un-have a 4some
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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