honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I touched a dick in church today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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