There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
