aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
