I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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