During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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