You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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