And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
