I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she peed on how many people?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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