And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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