Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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