Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay so I just had a really great idea
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was