oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
