You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
