Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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