Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
