I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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