I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
