eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
