He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize