wrigley field is MILF paradise
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
