There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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