he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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