Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
