so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
