Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
