I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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