you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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