i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
