dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
