Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
