trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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