I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
