What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
