I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
