Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
