Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
