so explain again why im purple
no
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
