I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
