I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
