She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
sex in a hospital.. check
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
