I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
