Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
