It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
