this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
