love makes seman taste better
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A bitchslap is in order.
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