so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
