At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's just like the Real World with babies
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
